It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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