I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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