We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize