You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
