Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
