hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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