sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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