you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
BRING THE BAGELS
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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