My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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