Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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