Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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