Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
