so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
