If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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