I have demons in me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
