Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
