if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
