I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
