the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
