Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize