don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have post one night stand depression
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