You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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