I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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