if i can run in heels then i can drive
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
