Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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