Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
