I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
