I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
