HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
