seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
