My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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