it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
