I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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