i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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