you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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