As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The struggles of a small town man whore
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
is that a dick in a sweater?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
