I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
