Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
