So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
