i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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