She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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