I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
