a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
