i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
