we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
