We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
