Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
