what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
