Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize