I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
