Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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