I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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