TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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