Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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