I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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