Farmville is her only friend.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
