New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
