You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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