she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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