I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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