every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
