At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
