Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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