So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
