I could have mohawked her pubes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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