Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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